I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
