I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just found puke in my bra..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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