I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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