After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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