ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
