Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
