meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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