The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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