I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
