so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
