Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
