I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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