I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
