I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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