ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize