So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
