she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
