Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize