went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
