I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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