I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
