If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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