Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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