I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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