I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize