ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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