accomplished twins. life is a go
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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