you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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