So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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