I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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