dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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