At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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