I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My bed smells like the plague
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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