I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
