He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize