I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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