im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
