she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just gift wrapped bread.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize