five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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