im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
