Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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