That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
