Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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