We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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