I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
