I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
COCAINE IS GR8
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize