ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
