I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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