We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
