Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do vagina's smell?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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