So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
