Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
