Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize