Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
