dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
