I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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