all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
