Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
