that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
