apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
a search helicopter?!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
