There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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