Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
