I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
