....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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