So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
