my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize