i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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